This Ten Year Rollercoaster We Call Us

I'm amazed when I see that number. TEN YEARS?! Yes, today is our 10 year anniversary. No, it isn't our 10 year wedding anniversary; that would be another 2 years if we had stayed legally married. And no, it isn't exactly continuous. It's been 10 years since the day we were introduced through friends who married a month after we did.

It's definitely been one hell of a rollercoaster ride and I wouldn't fix a thing. Why would I? Even with all the hardships that we've put each other through, we've fixed our personal issues together to make us even stronger as individuals, as a couple, and in the long run, as a family. There have been many times early on where one of us wanted to give up and move on, and a few times we did. No matter what, we always came back together. There's just something about our relationship that can NEVER be explained. We think alike, which can be scary at times. There are things in this world that no one else knows about ourselves other than the other half, not even our parents or closest friends. We've stuck together this long because we have come to the realization, whether it was over time or it suddenly hit us with a ton of bricks, that we can not or will survive without each other.

Let me back this up. Let's start this from the beginning:

 In April of 2004, I was preparing to graduate high school as a Super Senior (meaning I took an extra year) and I was moping around after a recent breakup. My friend at the time wanted me to set me up with her boyfriend's best friend. I agreed and she gave him my number. I paced my house nervously after school; I had never been on a blind date before and I didn't know what to expect. Later that afternoon, he called me and asked if I wanted to go out for coffee. "I don't drink coffee," I said, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Um, you don't have to order coffee. Just get what you want," he told me. I told him where I lived and we set a time for him to pick me up.

Later that evening, I was pacing again, feeling extremely nervous. From the second floor of my home, I hear my brother calling, "He's here!" Again embarrassed, I go to the door to meet him. He had long curly hair and a full goatee that I just fell in love with. My mom wanted to meet him, so I had to bring him in to do that. I was told to be home by 11 that night and I left in his bronze Astrovan with his friend in the back seat.

We had to go pick up my friend to make it a double date, then went to Denny's to have our 'coffee'. It was a lot of fun after a while. I drank my pop and mostly talked to my friend, but eventually I opened up enough to have some resemblance of a conversation with this guy. I found out he mentored at a junior high after school program, graduated the previous year, and coached a t-ball team with a friend.

After we finished at Denny's, we drove to one of the elementary schools to play on the swings and eventually him and I ended up at a nearby skate park where we sat in the bowl. We talked and stared up at the sky and talked some more. We then headed to my friend's house, whose parents were not home, and messed around some more. This is where my flirting side came out. I started to sit on his lap, hug him, and really just let myself show through. He introduced me to hot wax on my skin. We have a couple of pictures from this time, too, something not many people have this kind of thing. Eleven o'clock came and went and I called my mom to let her know I wasn't going to be home until 1:30, but we kept on talking and messing around. I eventually fell asleep in his arms around 5:30 that morning watching Monte Python and didn't get up until 9 am. I remember him getting up and saying he needed to go home sometime in between me falling asleep and waking up, but he left his phone number on the table next to me. I eventually got home that morning around 10:30 am to a not-so-happy mother, but I didn't care. I just went back to bed.

After that day, we saw each other daily for a long time.

The past 10 years have been filled with much happiness with getting married, which includes many funny, embarrassing, and otherwise unmentionable stories. It has also been filled with some bittersweet memories, such as after my daughter was born and the fiasco with family members. There has been heartache and disappointment, tears of joy, pain, and loss. There has been some health scares that turned out all right in the end.

It has been a rollercoaster and I won't change a thing.

I love you, my Huzzy. I'm proud to be your Nummerts, your Gubbuts.

Being Thankful

On this Thanksgiving, I have a few things that are often left unsaid. So without further ado, here is my little list:

1. My little girl, who just turned 7, was born on Thanksgiving day and is what I am most thankful for. She began life so little and so strong-willed. Through all the struggles her father and I have been through, she has always taken everything in stride. Things that bother us don't seem to affect her.  Today, she has grown into a headstrong, tall, intelligent, articulate, silly, kind, an advocate for self and others, and a very independent child with a strong sense of right and wrong. I love every part of her. To paraphrase a book, "I love her through and through, yesterday, today, and tomorrow, too".
2. My equally strong-willed husband whom I have been with for almost 10 years (9 years, 7 months, and 4 days to be exact, but who's counting?). We've gone through a marriage, a divorce, and many ups and downs to be where we are today. I can never find the words to articulate to him how I feel, but in a way, I know he knows. He is the only person on earth to know my deepest and darkest secrets and I know I am the same for him. We have dealt with disappointments and broken dreams while celebrating joys and triumphs. I love his determination to get through his battles and his strong support to help motivate me through mine. I love his play on words or his making up lyrics on the spot. I can not ever think of my life without him, though admittedly, I have tried and I didn't enjoy our time apart, but these are the struggles that made us realize that we are meant to be together. I love you babe. I will always be your Nummerts, Gubbutts, and now your Bubbutts, and who knows what else in the future. You will always be my Huzzy.
3. Although I may never say this, I am thankful for my mom, whom I have learned many skills from. Though growing up, I never really took interest in the things she has done for us, other than the finished product, I use them today. I enjoy sewing and baking for my family, though I do not do these as much as I like. Traditions that we had in our house are being passed and used in mine today. I insist on making birthday cakes from scratch because I feel it is more special than a cake baked and decorated at home than one ordered from a store bakery. The Christmas Eve gift was always something to keep us warm while waiting for Santa's arrival. It was either a blanket and/or pillow, or a new pair of pajamas. I enjoy doing this today for my family. I also enjoy all the family stories of her growing up and others told to her. I have never really known my extended family, but these stories help me know them a little more. My mom and I sometimes don't get along well, at least from my end, but I'm glad to have picked up these things from her.
4. Having my dad around when I know many other people have never known their fathers is a big deal. I have developed a love of the smell of a mechanic's shop that is unrivaled. I love that he is a jack of trades and a master of none. I may have gotten my direct and unembellished answering style. If you want more details, all you need to do is ask. I love that I can get dirty and never think twice about it. His hands are rough from a life of hard work  with grease stains lined cracks. He is the one who taught me the value of the outdoors and always leaving an area a little cleaner than when you arrived. Teaching me to fish is something I enjoy doing today, as well as camping on a path untraveled. As with many in my life, I would like to see some changes in our relationship, such as his with my daughter. There are many things left unsaid because I do not like confrontation, among other things. Thank you Dad for doing your best for us with what you had.